Welcome
As heralded by a sudden change in the weather, here at GISEYE, summer is now upon us. Therefore, what has been achieved thus far? What is currently being achieved? And what will be achieved over the next few months of summer?
University
With university terms at Durham, Manchester, and Norwich, all finishing at roughly the same time within a thirty day period, it was then decided that the three editors of GISEYE were to experience the joys of travel by British Rail.
This was kick-started by Editor 1 Ben Bradley taking a train from Durham to Manchester, and then consequently a week later, Editor 1 and Co-editor 2 Clement Chew taking a further train from Manchester to Norwich. A week following that, Co-editor 2 took a train back up to Manchester, and Editor 1 took a train to Peterborough, changing for Durham. Previously, over Easter, Editor 1 took a train from Durham to London, Co-editor 1 took a train from Norwich to London, whilst Co-editor 2 took a train from Manchester to London. The formerly described journeys were all interspersed by intensive computer gaming and drinks possibly of an alcoholic nature. Co-editor 1 also succeeded in attaining possible poisoning of the latter-sort whilst Co-editor 2 decided to disperse such liquid over his laptop.
So all in all, the past year for all three editors has been exceedingly brilliant, far surpassing our collective expectations.
AWARDS
Yes it is that time of year again, the time for the GISEYE Awards, awarding to members of the general public of whom we feel are most relevant to the award in question. Much painstaking research and possibly hours of decision-making and analysis has gone into deciding the recipients of these awards. Thus, with no further delays, here they are:
The GISEYE Award for Editor – Ben Bradley
The GISEYE Award for Co-Editor 1 – Thomas Maxwell
The GISEYE Award for Co-Editor 2 – Clement Chew
The GISEYE Award for Most Composed – Chris Ho
The GISEYE/Berita Harian Award for Knowledge – Chris Ho
Possible runner-up – Lee Weng Yew
Chris Ho: for subscribing to the New Scientist Magazine during A Level Physics, and currently as we know it, still subscribing to this metaphorical vortex of physics-related knowledge and consequently humbly impressing us all with his physics/knowledge of most things.
Lee Weng Yew takes the Possible runner-up position for claiming that he’s currently studying at Cambridge University, and consequently proving so, and then in the face of adversity attaining exemplary first year degree results, in the top seventh percentile of results may we add, netting him a colossal 200.00 pound prize which he plans to share with his friends.*
*rumoured
The GISEYE Award for Driving – Woo Yi Xuan
Possible runner-up – Low Su-Zen
Possible runner-up 2 – Thomas Maxwell
YX Woo: many an event that took place over the past three years simply would not have been possible without Woo YX at the wheel of an aluminum-blue Honda Civic with the accompanying soothing lyrics of Jay Chou amongst other highly regarded artists here at GISEYE. Rumours are abound that YX plans to start a ‘Safety YX Driving School for Noobs’ in the near or far future.
Low Su-Zen takes the Possible runner-up position, for despite being completely against the odds, utilising her personal transportation option a number of times over Christmas to transport members of the public short distances.
Coming up rapidly behind Low Su-Zen is Thomas Maxwell in the Possible runner-up 2 position, as his parallel parking abilities are somewhat highly regarded, by even the multi-award winning Woo Yi Xuan himself, whilst also claiming to provide various journeys of a public transport related nature.
The Clement Chew Award for Musical Excellence – Johan Abdul Rahman
Possible runner-up/challenger – Jia Weii Hue
JAR: with numerous supporters of this recipient – through identifying his possibly hidden great political and diplomatic talents some say only matched by Chris Ho himself - already having created a Facebook group requesting him to run for the Presidency of a yet to be named country; The Clement Chew Award for Musical Excellence goes to Johan Abdul Rahman, currently studying at a university of music whilst also incredibly somehow managing (how, we do not know as of yet) to find time to play in a band. Also, for providing much enjoyment of a musical nature one night last summer when two of your allegedly misguided editors blundered their way through Heritage Row to witness a performance of his former band which has now been disbanded featuring Co-editor 2 Clement Chew at the helm of a weapon of a keyboard.
The Clement Chew Award for Bravery in the Face of Danger – Sin Chun Wai
Possible runner-up – Clement Chew
Sin Chun Wai: for managing to fool an assailant of African descent who held a knife to his groin one night out in the darker depths of London, that he in fact, did not at that time possess great wealth nor favours of a surprising fornicating nature that he wished to bestow upon the knife-wielding fellow, and thus he escaped unharmed, and went on to enjoy the rest of the night, safely.
Clement Chew takes the Possible runner-up position for his efforts contributed towards crowd control in the face of various yob-related behavior under his current job as Events Steward at various stadia around the country.
Which brings us nicely on to our next set of awards.
The GISEYE Award for Staying Safe – Woo Yi Xuan
Apart from one incident which will not be mentioned where he partook in unusual quantities of specific variants of beverages one night and much hilarity thus ensued.
The GISEYE/Jusco Award for Fashion – Simon Mo
Possible runner-up – Andrew Chan
For always managing to be in fashion whatever the time, place, or occasion that presents itself.
And for Andrew Chan, exclusively (though not all-exclusively) on the football pitch.
The Thomas Maxwell Award for Sporting Fitness – Verun Narula
Possible runner-up 1 – Brian Tan
Possible runner-up 2 – Woo Yi Xuan
Verun Narula: the award named after the colossal bastion of stamina, endurance and all things sporting fitness related, The Thomas Maxwell Award for Sporting Fitness goes to Verun Narula for a Michael Chopra-like performance of tracking back many a time during the total domination of a rival school side in the pursuit of football over the most recent Christmas break, a match that will fondly be remembered, remaining in the minds of your editors for many a year to come.
Brian Tan, takes the Possible runner-up 1 position for studying at the University of Bath which is well-known for its sporting facilities; additionally for humbly displaying various colossal photos pre or post-workout on his Facebook for the benefit of all to keep up to date with his progress. Although as to whether this position will be challenged in the near future by a Matthew Sixten Rust who will be attending another university – Loughborough – that is also well known for its sporting facilities, remains to be seen.
Meanwhile, Woo YX takes the Possible runner-up 2 position for a year and five months ago to this date, claiming that he can perform sixty push-ups, and consequently doing so, despite having -13.2% body fat and a heart rate at that time of 386 bpm, all possibly whilst under the influence and simultaneously winning at Age of Empires 2, a computer game that ranks very highly indeed on the GISEYE Current Cool List (GISEYECCL).
The GISEYE/Duke of Edinburgh Award for Should Have Gone to Kinabalu on DOE – Clement Chew
On an unrelated note, reports have it that Clement Chew will not be travelling to Romania for a holiday anytime soon.
The Ben Bradley Award for Extensive Verbal Communication – Kit Perry
Possible runner-up 1 – Nikesh Chahal
Possible runner-up 2 – Matthew Rust
The award so-named after the verbal stronghold well-known for utilising his vocal chords excessively in many a social situation, often to such an extent that others are simply unable to put more than three consecutive words in single conversations, the Ben Bradley Award for Extensive Verbal Communication thus goes to Kit Perry for providing many a vividly moving commentary – some say exceeded in eloquence and clarity only by the well-honed expertise of Co-editor 2 Clement Chew - to numerous blogcasts here at GISEYE over the years, when none others were willing to step up to the plate and be counted in a metaphorical manner. Kit Jimmy Koay Perry was unfortunately unavailable to comment on his award at the time of writing.
Canada’s Nikesh Chahal takes the Possible runner-up 1 position for his reportedly hard man image and numerous encouraging shouts and perfectly timed calls during our final year at GIS U18s.
Matthew 610 Rust takes the Possible runner-up 2 position for challenging the authority of Ellis during SEASAC06 with the carefully chosen words “ELLIS!!#123@$” following a cunning pre-planned Kieron-Dyer-esque ploy of refusing to play out/in of position and consequently quickly losing the verbal battle that ensued – but arguably winning his own moral victory which some say is what really only counts.
The Clement Chew Award for Noise – Chris Ho
SHHIIIIIIIIEEEEET
The GISEYE Man of Mystery (MoM) Award (formally the Verun Narula Man of the Match (MotM) Award – Matthew Ng
This award given to the enigmatic Matthew Ng based largely on the fact that possibly reluctant GISEYE informer, Abdur, who is reportedly at Sheffield, has not mentioned Matthew Ng in any correspondances thus far to this date. Matthew Ng was unfortunately unavailable to comment on receiving his award.
The Woo Yi Xuan Award for GG – Vincent/Chee-Meng Au
For displaying great skills in the pursuit of RO over the years, despite being abandoned on five separate occasions by various wayward members of the public, of which possibly includes several of your current humbly-serving editors.
The GISEYE Award for Blog Identity Crisis – Lee Weng Yew
Of a visual nature: Lee Weng Yew.blogspot.com or Lee Weng Yew.wordpress.com? Additionally, several departments at GISEYE are rumoured to be incensed at the removal of GISEYE from wengyew.wordpress.com’s ‘Useful Sites List’, and indeed off the face of ‘The Narrow Road’ completely. Whether this is in retaliation to the some say harsh but fair analysis conducted of the aforementioned blog’s name in an exclusive hard-hitting GISEYE article of months ago; or whether it is due to wengyew.blogspot.com reportedly falling out on sixty-three separate occasions with GISEYE; or indeed whether it is because of the amicable well-meaning kick to the groin administered by a certain Clement Chew to Lee Weng Yew one night in London over the most recent Easter period, with several witnesses present including your humble editors and Bus Number 92 bound for Tottenham Court Road, all remains to be seen.
With no links whatsoever to what has just been said, we would just like to take this opportunity to state that GISEYE collectively believes that Lee Weng Yew is a well-liked, extremely humble, conscientious, knowledgeable, honest, often out-spoken yet some say that there is a sensitive side to the hard man image portrayed, and always operating for the greater good, gentleman. GISEYE would also like to wish Lee Weng Yew all the best in his future studies and pursuits in life, and that Clement Chew has possibly been issued with a formal warning about his actions of a physical nature towards such a sterling example and that we can stress that there will be no physical contact from Clement Chew over the next 150 days.
The Thomas Maxwell Award for Business Studies – Amanda Leung
The award so-named from the Best in Year 13 for Business Studies Award-winner himself, goes to the hard-working Amanda Leung for the hard work, sweat and toil put in to achieve the 2:1 in her Business Studies degree at the end of her first year at respected London educational institution the University of Westminster.
Our fullest congratulations to the awards winners of this decade of awards; you can all collect your awards upon meeting either of the editors in person with certain criteria not specified as yet to be met as a requirement deciding forward nature.
End
This is GISEYE, signing off.
Stay safe.
