Special Guest Article Edition #1

With some quarters loudly proclaiming that we here at GISEYE have lost the common touch; others, that we are severely deficient in any ability to write in a manner befitting the general readership; and others still, that few people actually read the drivel that we aggressively spew forth - after weeks of deliberation and in a flagrant attempt to increase our readership, we now are happy to publish an article that is neither exclusive, hard-hitting, outwardly-controversial, nor written by GISEYE.

Instead, we are now proud to present a special guest edition of the tri-monthly GISEYE Report.

Here, writing exclusively for GISEYE by a writer going under the pseudonym of 'Aarti Samtani’ - as follows is a dark yet deeply moving missive that limbers through the ups and the downs of university life.

‘Looking at your future as a child raises a myriad of fears and concerns’

Looking at your future as a child raises a myriad of fears and concerns. The majority of university related issues that arise are centralised around a predictable concept… grades.

With hindsight I realised the short sightedness of my childhood dreams. I shouldn’t have wasted my prayers on getting into University. Rather, I have realised, good accommodation is an even greater rarity and far less likely to come by.

Chapter 1 – The Plywood Years

My first apartment was defined as a ‘three bedroom complex’ by which he meant 2 bedrooms and a room within a living room. The last unfortunate room was barricaded with flimsy plywood.

Oddly enough, the room within a living room was not the worse feature of the apartment. The apartment looked like a dungeon; with little windows and a drier without a timer function. It was challenging; I was never certain if my clothes were shrinking or if it was the rapid horizontal expansion on my behalf (the later turned out to be true). Alternate accommodation was therefore arranged after a long year of searching.

Chapter 2 - Denial Through The Medium Of Spring Rolls

Now one would think, ‘what are the chances of getting screwed over twice?’ In my case, VERY likely. The current place I stay in has a curfew of 10pm on weekdays and midnight on weekends. Unfortunately, it is an enforceable rule.

Just to complete the whole affair; I am not allowed to cook unless prior permission is obtained. How the heck did I get myself in this situation? Well, funny story really.

It all started when I was deep frying spring rolls. The oil heated up and started smoking which resulted in a smoky environment. The lady of the house freaked out and shook with anger (literally, she was vibrating with anger… rather scary really) and from that fateful day I haven’t been allowed to cook. Clearly, I haven’t had much luck in the accommodation department.

Chapter 3 – Sorrow

I could never understand why one would want to own a home. After a year and a half I have now changed my mind. For those out there who suffer the same fate; I sincerely sympathize. I genuinely wish you the best of luck as I sit at home on Friday at 12.30am at the peak of my youth.

- The writer is currently reading Medicine at the University of New South Wales. When not courting legal controversy through publishing prose such as above, the writer enjoys cooking, losing weight, and taking leading roles in school-wide drama performances.

This is GISEYE, signing out.

Stay safe.