The Good, The Bad, and the Lee Weng Yew

26^th November 2006, Tuesday.

Venue: Sixth Form Computer Room in Lounge.

Time: 8.30am.

The gallant editors of GISEYE decided to make today a suitable date for a couple of interviews, to update our blog, and partly to get our sorry behinds off the couch of daily life.

The first person who was interviewed is a very eccentric person indeed, and may only be judged by his superior intelligence, based on empirical evidence and theses that he has not even deduced yet. Below is the interview that your daring editors… well… dared to do.

FROM THE EYES (see what we did there!) OF WENG YEW NOT GOING TO PROM

What are you known as?
Clement. You can’t say this in your blog...

Are you taking part in the prom this year?
Not at all.

What are the grounds of your decision not to partake in the prom this year?
For that kind of money, I could comparably spend my time better. For example, I could get better food and not waste hours doing nothing at prom. And if everyone realized that, we could all just go out and have our own get together and spend our time more enjoyably.

Where?
Undecided. Anywhere beats prom. From past record, all the proms have been very extremely disappointing disappointing.

Would you say that those who attend are ignorant, such as Ben Bradley and Clement Chew?
They are not maximising their utility due to ignorance and irrationality. Partly a result of peer pressure. For example, a man called Verun agreed that prom is very boring but that the after prom party will be extremely fun. The irony of that statement is why don’t you just take that 120 and spend it on an after prom party during prom, thereby getting better food and not having to spend the entire night listening to crappy performances.

Black Shirt Mondays?
No. they are the highlight of an otherwise dull evening.

So will we expect you at this after prom party?
No. the after prom party will be too late. If I go to prom, I will be stuck with some of the pesky lower years.

Our next interviewee, is a somewhat frivolous lady from class 13S, who has kindly consented to this little interview. She has even provided a photo for us to use, albeit it being a side-profile, which shall appear may in the future.

FROM THE EYES (see what we did there again) OF ELAINE IS GOING TO PROM

What is your name?
Elaine Lai. Ben thinks he’s so funny. Maybe I should change my name to Elaine Truth.

Are you going to the prom?
Yes.

Despite several statements by unscrupulous people, what are your reasons for going to the prom?
I guess to spend time with my friends, especially Yun, cos she’s leaving. Verun will be a traffic guy holding Yun’s plane back.

Why did you originally plan not to go to prom?
Well you see, before this, I went to SEASAC, which cost 1700 ringgit and then camp, which is going to cost 400 ringgit. That’s already quite a lot of money.

Wouldn’t 120 ringgit justify the glory of being with your friends?
That’s why I’m going.

What is your opinion on such people such as Weng Yew who said that we are ignorant people to attend prom?
Oh my gosh! He sounds a bit radical. Just because people are going to prom doesn’t mean that they’re ignorant.

Do you think that the statement that an after prom party will be better than the prom itself is true?
It is more exclusive.

Do you think peer pressure is one of the main causes of people going to the prom?
No.

Are you asking anyone to prom?
No.

Thanks for your time.
You’re welcome. That was a useful waste of my time.

Both interviewees offered to pay vast amounts of money for the privilege of getting interviewed by GISEYE, however as humble, honourable, gifted and supremely talented editors, we declined the offers and instead would just like to say a short word of gracious thanks to both our interviewees Lee Weng Yew and Elaine Lai.

Guest Writer ‘I enjoy short days’ Ben Bradley says:
Yes our interviews were methodical, and weren't rather funny, but with calls from persons that a proper blog is one that updates everyday, we have little choice but to fill up this online column with this sort of filth. In particularly this short aside. Apologies. Take break and return five minutes later to continue reading alternative reading materials. May we suggest, the cleverly named ‘Zimo’ by Zim, or the mysterious surrealism malingerer ‘ohsoimba’ (Yi Xuan claims he is a fan) by Rusty, or the noble knowledge-based Weng Yew fansite ‘kingandee’ by Andy, or indeed, finally, quite the supreme overlord of Sixth Form blogging ‘The Great Blogging Experiment’ by Weng Yew.

And slouching is better than sitting up http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,232237,00.html

Prom 2007 – A Preview

With your writers having a combined Prom experience of over well over 1560 minutes, we find ourselves in the unenviable position of having a deep murky pool of knowledge to suck from, in this our official Preview of Prom 2007; which is generally fecally plenary.

Precisely hosted by the Sheraton Imperial this year. For the knowledge-based nonpossessors, the word ‘Prom’, can take on a variety of meanings, as usefully carefully listed forewidth, cautious scrutiny of each particular definition has led us to come to the debatable conclusion that our Prom 2007 may indeed quite possibly be referring to the first definition, although up to the time of publishing, your enigmatically excitingly editors have still yet to reach a final deduction. Clement 'Cannot Control Own Limbs' Chew being the source of all confusion.

1. a formal dance, esp. one held by a high school or college class at the end of an academic year
2. memory hardware that can be programmed only once
3. acronym stands for premature rupture of membranes and means a woman's water has broken early

We believe that Proms are very big in America.

“The most important ocassion in one’s life including marriage and childbirth.”

As we extravagantly described earlier, the Sheraton Imperial is where we expect a large proportion of our educational establishment’s population to congregate at; 6.30pm, the eve of the Prom.

Right, what will definitively happen on the day of the Prom is:
6.45 – your editors arise from positions of slumber
7.40 – students begin arriving in school
7.42 – chairs are laid out in Grand Hall for a variety of school day events
7.55 – Lee Weng Yew walks into class
7.55 – upper secondary school-wide discussion on Prom begins
7.56 – Lee Weng Yew walks out of class
8.00 – whole school’s excitement stimulation levels increase by a factor of 10 upon learning that it is the last day of term
8.10 – lessons start
8.15 – secondary school-wide concentration levels dip, continuing on a negative exponential curve fall (math joke, for all the math fans) for the rest of the school day
9.25 – short break starts, food eaten
9.45 – short break ends
9.45 – various rebellious secondary school students congregate in L-floor toilets
9.46 – various rebellious secondary school students leave L-floor toilets
9.47 – Further Mathematics lesson starts (Zim, Menzie, Coin, Anisha, Weng Yew and Yun Jung – greetings of a higher nature)
10.15 – end of term assembly commences
11.30 – all peoples attending Prom asked to stay back to be issued guidelines on the night. Whilst issuing, several people have out of body experiences.
1.00 – all Prom-goers start their lengthy preparations
5.00 – drivers fill cars with C21H30O2 (petrol)
5.30 – first eager individuals arrive
6.15 – first sensible individuals arrive, first b*tching starts about what others sauntering through the large-expansive-transparent-glass-reinforced-entrance-doors have hanging off their expansive backs
6.59 – individuals who consider themselves the most important and popular, arrive
7.00 – after the mass congregating of Prom-goers having saturated the hotel lobby, leaving there little space for movement and the air becoming increasingly thin as the horizontally gifted take in deep breaths, endangering the lives of everyone, a single small slight Prom committee female instructs everyone in attendance to venture downwards toward the Grand Ballroom. This consequently results in mass hysteria, as the larger, unwashed, sweating members of the upper secondary community lumber onward; several small-to-medium sized individuals get trampled in the process; a number of small individuals get crushed, never to walk on the face of this earth possibly again; nevertheless individuals of the scrawny nature somehow manage to squeeze their ways in front, and hurtle their lanky bone-protruding frames forward, elbowing repeatedly the unfortunate average student (such as your endowed editors); several individuals rupture their spleens; two persons achieve unconscious states; five individuals bleed internally; the scrawny folk and the great unwashed venture, closely followed by the slowing horizontally-gifted of the school community’s members - toward the immense pine with a slight shade of oak entrance accesses to the Grand Ballroom.

And then some essays are recited by the upper members of the echelons of the school, followed by the dimming of light-emitting-strobes, the serving of food, the playing of performances of the musical variety, the clearing of uneaten food, lights turned off, complete darkness resulting in mass hysteria, several individuals unknowingly stab themselves in the face with forks, then proceed to stab their friends with such items, Clement Chew commences piano recital – or if he hasn’t passed the auditions allowing him to; removes the next performer/s and commences playing anyway - several people moan in ecstasy as a result.

Remember, you heard it from us first.

Vital facts:
Chances of hotel disappearing: 1 in 580
Chances of nobody turning up: 1 in 635
number of chairs: 480
number of balloons: 960
Chances of there being a clown performance upon arrival:
what the fk Clement.

We apologise for the overwhelming sh*teness of such a Preview. As (remarkably), this is the first one we’ve ever done. Our actual plan for this blog and for sixth form wide domination, is to start off really rubbish, and then get better over time. Rather than starting off really well and then getting more rubbish as time progresses. Discuss this erratically using our comments system (because we’re jealous of Blog Weng Yew getting way more comments than us). Actually, don’t, because it means more work for our resident moderator of comments, Maxwell.

Pushing this sh*tness aside with a large shovel, at least there's some Prom-related interviews coming up.

School item carrier levitation

Weng Yew In Schoolbag Shocker!

Also alternatively known as bag-gate; the stage was set this morning’s short break, where a Mr. ‘Nargh’ Lee Weng Yew (Weng) conducted a potentially criminal act of heinous circumstances of illicitly genius proportions. Indeed, if your righteous law-abiding editors were to ever implement-our-cunning-plan-for-sixth-form-wide-domination start a criminal organisation, this astute and expressively exceedingly clever young man would be the first person we would unite with.

Bent elbow helpfully pointed out, and laughed at by both persons on the further right of this photo

Thirty degree angle and circular arc formed as onlookers look on in awe

The tree attempts to suck in arms.

Weng Yew is actually levitating in this photo

Final adjustments made

An all round success in a positive nature!

We’ve heard reports that what happened above, in what was quite possibly the most happening happening in the history of that area of land outside the Further Math classroom (esteemed greetings of an uplifting nature to all current Further Math students. we expect a greeting in return), actually did not take place at all. That instead, some idiots cum scum (Colin Say and Ben Bradley), displaced the honourable Weng Yew’s (much infinite thanks for letting us use your photographic representations in this report and for being a good sport) bag from its place on a bench up into the lower levels of that tree, in an ‘Idiots put schoolbag in tree’ shocker of a news report.

Clement Chew, is looking into this.

Aarti and Kit.

Okay, after much thought, we have decided to post the much disputed video of Kit and Aarti's melee in the common room. Please enjoy but also give much condolences to Aarti because she was very against this being broadcasted. Sorry, but the world has to go round. It's our video, we apologise again.



Weng Yew came out for this.

Signing off,

A Fortnight Ago In Photos

It has been quite some time since the half-term holidays began and ended, and all of us are really feeling none-the-better knowing that school is back. Of course, all three editors were extremely hardworking, nosy and entrepreneurial before that time. As two of the editors are currently unavailable, see post below, Co-Editor One shall try his very best to entertain the very loyal patrons of this column and the energetic students of G1S. As usual, click on the photographs in order to view a larger resolution.

The images obtained by the high-definition light absorbing device otherwise known as the camera are the joint effort of all the editors together. Well, actually, they were taken during a lazy Thursday just before half-term started. Behold:

The photo above shows, in clockwise motion, Russell Chen, Julian Surname Unknown (apologies), Owen Bendor-Samuel, a certain Chris Ho in the background, Harry Amos reclining on our high quality chairs, a bored Nadhir Kamarudin and finally, a stylish posing Jackson Au posed in purple. An excellent looking IBM Laptop sits on the table on the far right of the photo, and a very well-decorated interior of what is known as the Sixth Form Common Room.

The photo above depicts four characters otherwise known as Zi-Wen, who very kindly offered me a little of her drink, Kit Perry, Owen Bendor-Samuel and a half-shrouded character whom we have no clue. The person whom the glasses in front of the device belongs to is none other than Nadhir Kamarudin. Although it is not visible from this angle, the object of their attention is the chessboard; participants are Kit Perry and Julian Surname Unknown. It was a very close match, but Kit Perry eventually emerged champion. Victorious words from Kit included:

“GG NO RE!”

“I Owned you okay.”

We apologize for the (Lack off) quality of the photos, but Editor One was very uncertain about the image-obtaining device at that time, oblivious to the fact that it actually required the Flash to be on in order to be effective. Readers are spared the torture in the following photos.

This photo, taken some moments after the last, shows one of our Enhanced Intellectuals, Weng Yew, and our hyperactive Aarti Samtani, whose features have been excluded due to personal reasons. It is unclear of their actions, but they appear to be Thumb-Wrestling. Aarti, of course, won hands…. Err… thumbs down due to the fact that she possessed double joints in her limbs. A look of excruciating pain (or is it mirth) is visible on Joel’s face as he tries unsuccessfully to bend Aarti’s arm. Better luck next time, Joel Lee Weng Yew!

This photograph of Co-Editor One, the owner of the Image-obtaining device was taken by none other than the person above, who was finger-wrestling earlier with Aarti. Nothing much to see here, except that the foot in the background belongs to Muhammad Fariq.

After a long interval, Mr. Perry got it into his head to decorate Aarti’s clothes as well, with a huge permanent marker. This is the aftermath of Kit’s actions. As you can see, Aarti is questioning Mr. Perry’s motive of redecorating her outfit, and Mr. Perry is attempting to justify his somewhat inhumane act. What happened next is rather hilarious.

Eventually, it got heated to such a point that Mr. Perry was forced to make a quick traversal through the door of the Sixth Form common room, nearly clipping the photo of our beloved deceased Khairul Salim. Here, Aarti is vigilant as she awaits his return. A tentative Mr. Perry can be observed eyeing his victim-turned-predator. Zi-Wen may be seen observing the scenario.

Suffice to say, there was a video recorded of it, but due to unforeseen consequences along with the disapproval of Miss Samtani, there is doubt as to whether the clip shall ever see the light of day. Well, we hope you have enjoyed the brief insight into last Thursday’s scenario in the common room. Below is an unrelated photo that has no other place to be slotted into.

This was actually discovered on google picture search of "Eyes + Close-up". There is nothing more we can say about the clarity of this picture, except that it is depicted excellently. The person who owns this Nikon Camera must feel exuberantly proud with himself for obtaining such a glorious photograph. Now if we only had such a camera...

Production Halted For Time Being

Don't Worry, we're not gone... yet.

Due to recent events, ahem, SEASAC, which two of the three editors are currently attending, there shall be no updates for the next four days. We shall, of course, continue to please patrons to this site by providing random periodic updates as time goes.

If you are unaware of our production process, here it is.

1. Editors brainstorm.
2. The work actually gets done. Equipment include Camera Phones and Digital Cameras (We have yet to include photos from this mass media device)
3. Editors type up report. There will be no dispute over who does what. Editor One scrutinises reports and provides relevant support and approval for postage.
4. Editor in question posts report.
5. Readers enjoy Article.

An Alternative Approach would be.

1. Editors Brainstorm.
2. Individual projects are set out, if an editor becomes ambitious.
3. Work gets done. (Editor is on their own, but may call for additional backup if required.)
4. Editor types up report.
5. Editor submits article to Editor One for Approval.
6. Post appears on column cumblog.

Now, if you may have noticed, co-editor Clement is left in solitary because of the SEASAC. The editor, of course, has output from all the mass-media throughout the week, but requires both advice, proofreading and approval from other editors. Therefore, without this essential help, production cannot continue. It is with great regret that this editor states that valuable students of GIS shall have to yet again endure a long wait for the next article.

Till next time (Monday.), this is temporary.

Signing off, This is Co-Editor One. (Click for bigger photo of this editor's handsome self.)