Public Conveniences Review 2007 (II of II)

A good toilet may be defined as a clean, complete, and properly used public convenience. It not only requires the hard work and dedication in the issue of public health awareness, leading to a benefit of the welfare of future would-be users of the PC. Here is the second part of our review on the Public Conveniences of our wonderful campus.

#5 Male toilet outside sports hall.

Very conspicuous position.

Description: This PC was relatively average in conditions and performance. This is due to several reasons. Firstly, we cannot further emphasise the extremely conspicuous location of the PC, which leads to a belaying sense of insecurity when patronising this PC. Notice the double areas of entry into the PC; from the primary canteen by the staircase and from where Mr. Bradley is posted, leading from the main hall.

A well kept, neat, tidy, squeaky clean PC. Notice the cleaning utensils.

Quality: Upon entering, the patron is duly rewarded for trusting this particular PC by the vision of a smooth, white, toilet seat, plentiful supplies of toilet paper, and no filth whatsoever on the walls and the floor. One may think that this PC has seen the very least of occupants, not to say the very least a lone educator or a primary school student who has urgent pressing business. On to the next figure.

Conveniently placed soap and *gasp* no cockroaches!

There is not much more that we can possibly add to this clean, relatively small, wonderfully decorated PC (observe the colouring of the tiles.). Other than its relatively dangerous position which is prone to entrance from both sides of the corridor, we give this PC a tentative thumbs-up.

#6. The Changing Rooms PC.

Behold, the ONLY changing room in this block

There are plenty of negative comments which are to follow about this particular PC cum Changing Room, and the state of the door is the very least of it. Description: Located opposite the DT labs and in the middle of the corridor adjoining the two canteens, this particular PC disgusts us to some extent.

No, it's not just the rust that we're ticked off with.

No joke, there is nothing visible on the knob of the door except apparently shiny, silver metal. However, it is the invisibles that we are concerned about. This editor walked into this PC one fine Wednesday, and in the process of washing his hands, heard a lone Year Five step up onto the large metal urinal beside the sinks, and begin doing his business. The editor continued to soap up his hands and eliminate them of all blemishes when suddenly, the Year Five (A Blonde Haired Bloke with Grey Knee Length Shorts) pulled up his shorts, and rushed out of the toilet, without making any inherent attempt to rid his claws of all microbes and filth. The editor stood his ground for five seconds, before deciding to exit through the changing rooms, where a horde of unruly, smelly Year Eights were shedding their skins and replacing them with varying colours of red, yellow, purple and green.

If this PC is treated in this particular manner, how can patrons of this PC piss in peace, knowing that more than one unwashed hand has descended on that metal object above? For other forms of information on how to safely extricate yourself from this quagmire, feel free to browse Weng Yew's column cumblog.

Tissue paper and mirrored thumbs down.

Quality: As you can see, a wad of tissue paper, presumably used for you-know-what, has been discovered beneath the inconveniently placed soap dispenser. If the reader observes the photo with more scrutiny, he/she may find a strangely shaped object hanging from the light in the background.

No, it's not a trick of the light.

A stream of tissue paper, presumably damp (unascertained, due to concerns to personal health and safety) hangs from the fluorescent, metal light, causing inconvenience to occupants by the sound of its dripping and the risk of being splattered by the malicious drops. A pack of brown powder whose contents were not acquired and analysed rests on the top of the cubicles.

Surprisingly Clean.

If there was such a thing as a "redeemer", the changing rooms would more than suit the mould. Contrary to the PC, the changing room receives a moderate thumbs (Neither up nor down.). We feel that this rating is necessary, as we have not included it amongst other ratings, therefore its inclusion is rather justified, rather.

It's not what you think it is.

In Conclusion, this particular PC is an exampled specimen to all the loyal students of this educational institution. The picture above shows the transference of outside elements, e.g. mud into the complex, and this is the result of an over-excitable younger year. Drastic improvements in the form that students of the educational community have to be made in order for this PC to become inhabitable again by the BOTH the needy and the luxurious.
Rating: 1/5 (The Changing Rooms boosted its reputation, but maybe we're just being too kind.)

And THAT, ladies and mostly gentlemen, almost concludes our report of the habitable and uninhabitable Public Conveniences in our wonderful institution. New building toilets may appear soon as well. Be prepared for our next projects, which are numerous and just as entirely unnecessary as this escapade.

We hope you have enjoyed our meagre presentation of PCs in our institution and found some assistance in doing the complicated business of Bowel Movement. Cheers.