GIS Eye: Bringing you the latest in School Development.

Time for our weekly "eyes" obtained from students around the school. We hope you will enjoy these two carefully taken photographs which depict our very material of being here.

Click on the photos for extremely large versions. Please do, we went to great lengths to provide you with these.


Co Editor 2's brilliant blue eyes. This photo was taken during a free period in the common room, and shows raised eyebrows at their greatest glory. Blue eyes have always been the "Pure" type of gene-unadulterated eyes, and also are becoming scarce by the day.


Year 8 correspondant and friend Sebastian Schellerer's excellent brown daubed with blue eye. This photograph was taken during the swim gala, when Co-Editor One decided to take a break from officialing in the races. Please focus on the centre of the eye, where there is a perfect shade of brown, and then move your gaze with your very own eyes to the side of the iris, where it then begins to be blended in with perfect symmetry.

We hope you've enjoyed the last photos of the year in G1S, and hope for your everlasting support for our little operation here.

Signing off, This is Co Editor One.

Stay safe.

Blog Cast 2

Welcome to our Second Blog Pod Cast. This one is so hilarious that viewers risk falling over their chairs with mirth.



It is not an unbearably long load, and you can afford to play the movie while loading, with a 1.0mpbs Streamyx Connection. As usual, Stay Safe.

Our First Blog Cast!

How proud we are.

The Great Green Pool

Due to our extreme inefficiency in time-management, we have enforced the notion of work delegation. Editor Clement Chew has decided to finally get off his arse and “work” on his assigned task: The Green Pool Review, with the lack of participation by Mr. Thomas Maxwell and Mr. Ben Bradley (who kindly submitted one, solitary photo).

As most of the students of G1S are aware of, our very beloved pool was in a state of green dishevel a little over a month ago. Your editors noticed this as well, and decided to create an article about this. Now, a lot of discussion has been undertaken on whether it’s really of detriment to the school, and of condescendence, to post such an article about the bad state of the swimming pool. For awhile, your hardworking editors were at a dead end.

And then, fortune was bestowed upon us by the curing of the pool. We witnessed a transition from green algae infested pool to the cool blue that we always saw. Co-editor One, with his lower-secondary contacts nearly rivaling Co-editor Two’s, managed to conduct an impromptu interview with the individual below. Bear in mind that these two photos were taken at different times, once before the curing of the pool, and then the second after the curing of the pool.

Our Pool In It's Great Green Glory. Chancellor for the win!

Before

Please state your name for the record.

GERMANY RULEZ!!!

What are your views on the disgusting slime and filth that is our pool at the moment?

Thanks for the curry fries. I think that it is appalling that the school should allow the pool to enter such a state. I hate having to inhale algae every single time I enter the pool. It’s despicable, and I’m sure that every single member of the student population agrees with my opinion. If they don’t…

*At this point, the editor had to back off for a few seconds, after noticing a certain red aura being emanated from the eyes (See what we did there) of this individual*

Okay, okay. Thanks for your time, sir. We shall contact you within a week in order to follow up with the interview.

No problem at all. Just bring me more fries from Buddies next ti… OOPS!! I mean…I now need to brace myself for the worst journey of my life: wading through the green that lies ahead of me.

Two weeks passed, and our pool was then cured by the diligent workers of our school. Hooray!

Our Bloo Pool is restored

After

Greetings, sir.

Hey dude. Have you got my fri…. OUCH! I mean, Hey I’m fine, thanks.

Now that the school has returned our pool back to its former glory, how do you feel now about the complexity of the issue?

This is superb work by the school! I never would have thought that the school authorities would act so quickly in restoring our pool. Now, if only we had had that change implemented before our only swimming lesson for the term, the positive externality effect would have been multiplied, net social benefit maximized. Now I can see clearly underwater and look at the g… at… oh, nothing.

We’re glad to hear that.

So am I.

Thank you so much for your time, may you enjoy years of clear blue chlorine infused water.

Why thank you. I shall ensure that I will.

By the way, nice haircut.

Go to hell. I didn’t wanna do this. My mom forced me to go to the barbers. Why you…

Okay, okay. We shall leave you in peace.

Give me my chips now!!

*At that point, co-editor one retreated to the safe vestiges of the sixth form common room. One can only hope that this vengeful German individual managed to find peace wherever he is now.*

Now that everything seems to be in order, we hope you enjoyed this relatively late piece of work, and look forward to serving you in the future. Credits go to Mr. Sebastian Schellerer of Year Eight for daring to show his face online. Signing off, this is Co-editor One. Stay Safe. And we hope your life goes swimmingly.

The Good, The Bad, and the Lee Weng Yew

26^th November 2006, Tuesday.

Venue: Sixth Form Computer Room in Lounge.

Time: 8.30am.

The gallant editors of GISEYE decided to make today a suitable date for a couple of interviews, to update our blog, and partly to get our sorry behinds off the couch of daily life.

The first person who was interviewed is a very eccentric person indeed, and may only be judged by his superior intelligence, based on empirical evidence and theses that he has not even deduced yet. Below is the interview that your daring editors… well… dared to do.

FROM THE EYES (see what we did there!) OF WENG YEW NOT GOING TO PROM

What are you known as?
Clement. You can’t say this in your blog...

Are you taking part in the prom this year?
Not at all.

What are the grounds of your decision not to partake in the prom this year?
For that kind of money, I could comparably spend my time better. For example, I could get better food and not waste hours doing nothing at prom. And if everyone realized that, we could all just go out and have our own get together and spend our time more enjoyably.

Where?
Undecided. Anywhere beats prom. From past record, all the proms have been very extremely disappointing disappointing.

Would you say that those who attend are ignorant, such as Ben Bradley and Clement Chew?
They are not maximising their utility due to ignorance and irrationality. Partly a result of peer pressure. For example, a man called Verun agreed that prom is very boring but that the after prom party will be extremely fun. The irony of that statement is why don’t you just take that 120 and spend it on an after prom party during prom, thereby getting better food and not having to spend the entire night listening to crappy performances.

Black Shirt Mondays?
No. they are the highlight of an otherwise dull evening.

So will we expect you at this after prom party?
No. the after prom party will be too late. If I go to prom, I will be stuck with some of the pesky lower years.

Our next interviewee, is a somewhat frivolous lady from class 13S, who has kindly consented to this little interview. She has even provided a photo for us to use, albeit it being a side-profile, which shall appear may in the future.

FROM THE EYES (see what we did there again) OF ELAINE IS GOING TO PROM

What is your name?
Elaine Lai. Ben thinks he’s so funny. Maybe I should change my name to Elaine Truth.

Are you going to the prom?
Yes.

Despite several statements by unscrupulous people, what are your reasons for going to the prom?
I guess to spend time with my friends, especially Yun, cos she’s leaving. Verun will be a traffic guy holding Yun’s plane back.

Why did you originally plan not to go to prom?
Well you see, before this, I went to SEASAC, which cost 1700 ringgit and then camp, which is going to cost 400 ringgit. That’s already quite a lot of money.

Wouldn’t 120 ringgit justify the glory of being with your friends?
That’s why I’m going.

What is your opinion on such people such as Weng Yew who said that we are ignorant people to attend prom?
Oh my gosh! He sounds a bit radical. Just because people are going to prom doesn’t mean that they’re ignorant.

Do you think that the statement that an after prom party will be better than the prom itself is true?
It is more exclusive.

Do you think peer pressure is one of the main causes of people going to the prom?
No.

Are you asking anyone to prom?
No.

Thanks for your time.
You’re welcome. That was a useful waste of my time.

Both interviewees offered to pay vast amounts of money for the privilege of getting interviewed by GISEYE, however as humble, honourable, gifted and supremely talented editors, we declined the offers and instead would just like to say a short word of gracious thanks to both our interviewees Lee Weng Yew and Elaine Lai.

Guest Writer ‘I enjoy short days’ Ben Bradley says:
Yes our interviews were methodical, and weren't rather funny, but with calls from persons that a proper blog is one that updates everyday, we have little choice but to fill up this online column with this sort of filth. In particularly this short aside. Apologies. Take break and return five minutes later to continue reading alternative reading materials. May we suggest, the cleverly named ‘Zimo’ by Zim, or the mysterious surrealism malingerer ‘ohsoimba’ (Yi Xuan claims he is a fan) by Rusty, or the noble knowledge-based Weng Yew fansite ‘kingandee’ by Andy, or indeed, finally, quite the supreme overlord of Sixth Form blogging ‘The Great Blogging Experiment’ by Weng Yew.

And slouching is better than sitting up http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,232237,00.html

Prom 2007 – A Preview

With your writers having a combined Prom experience of over well over 1560 minutes, we find ourselves in the unenviable position of having a deep murky pool of knowledge to suck from, in this our official Preview of Prom 2007; which is generally fecally plenary.

Precisely hosted by the Sheraton Imperial this year. For the knowledge-based nonpossessors, the word ‘Prom’, can take on a variety of meanings, as usefully carefully listed forewidth, cautious scrutiny of each particular definition has led us to come to the debatable conclusion that our Prom 2007 may indeed quite possibly be referring to the first definition, although up to the time of publishing, your enigmatically excitingly editors have still yet to reach a final deduction. Clement 'Cannot Control Own Limbs' Chew being the source of all confusion.

1. a formal dance, esp. one held by a high school or college class at the end of an academic year
2. memory hardware that can be programmed only once
3. acronym stands for premature rupture of membranes and means a woman's water has broken early

We believe that Proms are very big in America.

“The most important ocassion in one’s life including marriage and childbirth.”

As we extravagantly described earlier, the Sheraton Imperial is where we expect a large proportion of our educational establishment’s population to congregate at; 6.30pm, the eve of the Prom.

Right, what will definitively happen on the day of the Prom is:
6.45 – your editors arise from positions of slumber
7.40 – students begin arriving in school
7.42 – chairs are laid out in Grand Hall for a variety of school day events
7.55 – Lee Weng Yew walks into class
7.55 – upper secondary school-wide discussion on Prom begins
7.56 – Lee Weng Yew walks out of class
8.00 – whole school’s excitement stimulation levels increase by a factor of 10 upon learning that it is the last day of term
8.10 – lessons start
8.15 – secondary school-wide concentration levels dip, continuing on a negative exponential curve fall (math joke, for all the math fans) for the rest of the school day
9.25 – short break starts, food eaten
9.45 – short break ends
9.45 – various rebellious secondary school students congregate in L-floor toilets
9.46 – various rebellious secondary school students leave L-floor toilets
9.47 – Further Mathematics lesson starts (Zim, Menzie, Coin, Anisha, Weng Yew and Yun Jung – greetings of a higher nature)
10.15 – end of term assembly commences
11.30 – all peoples attending Prom asked to stay back to be issued guidelines on the night. Whilst issuing, several people have out of body experiences.
1.00 – all Prom-goers start their lengthy preparations
5.00 – drivers fill cars with C21H30O2 (petrol)
5.30 – first eager individuals arrive
6.15 – first sensible individuals arrive, first b*tching starts about what others sauntering through the large-expansive-transparent-glass-reinforced-entrance-doors have hanging off their expansive backs
6.59 – individuals who consider themselves the most important and popular, arrive
7.00 – after the mass congregating of Prom-goers having saturated the hotel lobby, leaving there little space for movement and the air becoming increasingly thin as the horizontally gifted take in deep breaths, endangering the lives of everyone, a single small slight Prom committee female instructs everyone in attendance to venture downwards toward the Grand Ballroom. This consequently results in mass hysteria, as the larger, unwashed, sweating members of the upper secondary community lumber onward; several small-to-medium sized individuals get trampled in the process; a number of small individuals get crushed, never to walk on the face of this earth possibly again; nevertheless individuals of the scrawny nature somehow manage to squeeze their ways in front, and hurtle their lanky bone-protruding frames forward, elbowing repeatedly the unfortunate average student (such as your endowed editors); several individuals rupture their spleens; two persons achieve unconscious states; five individuals bleed internally; the scrawny folk and the great unwashed venture, closely followed by the slowing horizontally-gifted of the school community’s members - toward the immense pine with a slight shade of oak entrance accesses to the Grand Ballroom.

And then some essays are recited by the upper members of the echelons of the school, followed by the dimming of light-emitting-strobes, the serving of food, the playing of performances of the musical variety, the clearing of uneaten food, lights turned off, complete darkness resulting in mass hysteria, several individuals unknowingly stab themselves in the face with forks, then proceed to stab their friends with such items, Clement Chew commences piano recital – or if he hasn’t passed the auditions allowing him to; removes the next performer/s and commences playing anyway - several people moan in ecstasy as a result.

Remember, you heard it from us first.

Vital facts:
Chances of hotel disappearing: 1 in 580
Chances of nobody turning up: 1 in 635
number of chairs: 480
number of balloons: 960
Chances of there being a clown performance upon arrival:
what the fk Clement.

We apologise for the overwhelming sh*teness of such a Preview. As (remarkably), this is the first one we’ve ever done. Our actual plan for this blog and for sixth form wide domination, is to start off really rubbish, and then get better over time. Rather than starting off really well and then getting more rubbish as time progresses. Discuss this erratically using our comments system (because we’re jealous of Blog Weng Yew getting way more comments than us). Actually, don’t, because it means more work for our resident moderator of comments, Maxwell.

Pushing this sh*tness aside with a large shovel, at least there's some Prom-related interviews coming up.

School item carrier levitation

Weng Yew In Schoolbag Shocker!

Also alternatively known as bag-gate; the stage was set this morning’s short break, where a Mr. ‘Nargh’ Lee Weng Yew (Weng) conducted a potentially criminal act of heinous circumstances of illicitly genius proportions. Indeed, if your righteous law-abiding editors were to ever implement-our-cunning-plan-for-sixth-form-wide-domination start a criminal organisation, this astute and expressively exceedingly clever young man would be the first person we would unite with.

Bent elbow helpfully pointed out, and laughed at by both persons on the further right of this photo

Thirty degree angle and circular arc formed as onlookers look on in awe

The tree attempts to suck in arms.

Weng Yew is actually levitating in this photo

Final adjustments made

An all round success in a positive nature!

We’ve heard reports that what happened above, in what was quite possibly the most happening happening in the history of that area of land outside the Further Math classroom (esteemed greetings of an uplifting nature to all current Further Math students. we expect a greeting in return), actually did not take place at all. That instead, some idiots cum scum (Colin Say and Ben Bradley), displaced the honourable Weng Yew’s (much infinite thanks for letting us use your photographic representations in this report and for being a good sport) bag from its place on a bench up into the lower levels of that tree, in an ‘Idiots put schoolbag in tree’ shocker of a news report.

Clement Chew, is looking into this.

Aarti and Kit.

Okay, after much thought, we have decided to post the much disputed video of Kit and Aarti's melee in the common room. Please enjoy but also give much condolences to Aarti because she was very against this being broadcasted. Sorry, but the world has to go round. It's our video, we apologise again.



Weng Yew came out for this.

Signing off,

A Fortnight Ago In Photos

It has been quite some time since the half-term holidays began and ended, and all of us are really feeling none-the-better knowing that school is back. Of course, all three editors were extremely hardworking, nosy and entrepreneurial before that time. As two of the editors are currently unavailable, see post below, Co-Editor One shall try his very best to entertain the very loyal patrons of this column and the energetic students of G1S. As usual, click on the photographs in order to view a larger resolution.

The images obtained by the high-definition light absorbing device otherwise known as the camera are the joint effort of all the editors together. Well, actually, they were taken during a lazy Thursday just before half-term started. Behold:

The photo above shows, in clockwise motion, Russell Chen, Julian Surname Unknown (apologies), Owen Bendor-Samuel, a certain Chris Ho in the background, Harry Amos reclining on our high quality chairs, a bored Nadhir Kamarudin and finally, a stylish posing Jackson Au posed in purple. An excellent looking IBM Laptop sits on the table on the far right of the photo, and a very well-decorated interior of what is known as the Sixth Form Common Room.

The photo above depicts four characters otherwise known as Zi-Wen, who very kindly offered me a little of her drink, Kit Perry, Owen Bendor-Samuel and a half-shrouded character whom we have no clue. The person whom the glasses in front of the device belongs to is none other than Nadhir Kamarudin. Although it is not visible from this angle, the object of their attention is the chessboard; participants are Kit Perry and Julian Surname Unknown. It was a very close match, but Kit Perry eventually emerged champion. Victorious words from Kit included:

“GG NO RE!”

“I Owned you okay.”

We apologize for the (Lack off) quality of the photos, but Editor One was very uncertain about the image-obtaining device at that time, oblivious to the fact that it actually required the Flash to be on in order to be effective. Readers are spared the torture in the following photos.

This photo, taken some moments after the last, shows one of our Enhanced Intellectuals, Weng Yew, and our hyperactive Aarti Samtani, whose features have been excluded due to personal reasons. It is unclear of their actions, but they appear to be Thumb-Wrestling. Aarti, of course, won hands…. Err… thumbs down due to the fact that she possessed double joints in her limbs. A look of excruciating pain (or is it mirth) is visible on Joel’s face as he tries unsuccessfully to bend Aarti’s arm. Better luck next time, Joel Lee Weng Yew!

This photograph of Co-Editor One, the owner of the Image-obtaining device was taken by none other than the person above, who was finger-wrestling earlier with Aarti. Nothing much to see here, except that the foot in the background belongs to Muhammad Fariq.

After a long interval, Mr. Perry got it into his head to decorate Aarti’s clothes as well, with a huge permanent marker. This is the aftermath of Kit’s actions. As you can see, Aarti is questioning Mr. Perry’s motive of redecorating her outfit, and Mr. Perry is attempting to justify his somewhat inhumane act. What happened next is rather hilarious.

Eventually, it got heated to such a point that Mr. Perry was forced to make a quick traversal through the door of the Sixth Form common room, nearly clipping the photo of our beloved deceased Khairul Salim. Here, Aarti is vigilant as she awaits his return. A tentative Mr. Perry can be observed eyeing his victim-turned-predator. Zi-Wen may be seen observing the scenario.

Suffice to say, there was a video recorded of it, but due to unforeseen consequences along with the disapproval of Miss Samtani, there is doubt as to whether the clip shall ever see the light of day. Well, we hope you have enjoyed the brief insight into last Thursday’s scenario in the common room. Below is an unrelated photo that has no other place to be slotted into.

This was actually discovered on google picture search of "Eyes + Close-up". There is nothing more we can say about the clarity of this picture, except that it is depicted excellently. The person who owns this Nikon Camera must feel exuberantly proud with himself for obtaining such a glorious photograph. Now if we only had such a camera...

Production Halted For Time Being

Don't Worry, we're not gone... yet.

Due to recent events, ahem, SEASAC, which two of the three editors are currently attending, there shall be no updates for the next four days. We shall, of course, continue to please patrons to this site by providing random periodic updates as time goes.

If you are unaware of our production process, here it is.

1. Editors brainstorm.
2. The work actually gets done. Equipment include Camera Phones and Digital Cameras (We have yet to include photos from this mass media device)
3. Editors type up report. There will be no dispute over who does what. Editor One scrutinises reports and provides relevant support and approval for postage.
4. Editor in question posts report.
5. Readers enjoy Article.

An Alternative Approach would be.

1. Editors Brainstorm.
2. Individual projects are set out, if an editor becomes ambitious.
3. Work gets done. (Editor is on their own, but may call for additional backup if required.)
4. Editor types up report.
5. Editor submits article to Editor One for Approval.
6. Post appears on column cumblog.

Now, if you may have noticed, co-editor Clement is left in solitary because of the SEASAC. The editor, of course, has output from all the mass-media throughout the week, but requires both advice, proofreading and approval from other editors. Therefore, without this essential help, production cannot continue. It is with great regret that this editor states that valuable students of GIS shall have to yet again endure a long wait for the next article.

Till next time (Monday.), this is temporary.

Signing off, This is Co-Editor One. (Click for bigger photo of this editor's handsome self.)

Our new fashion spreads...

As you can see, our latest fashion craze is slowly, akin to a small hairless rodent, sweeping the school. One of our colleagues was spotted in this state earlier today.

We hope to change opinions, change looks as we change hearts and change lives in the process.

Public Conveniences Review 2007 (III of II)

We greet you in good tidings, as at the time of writing, it is now the mid-term holidays! As there’s much celebrating and merriment to have, we would like to take this opportunity to wish all our Indian readers a Happy Deepavali, and to all our Muslim readers, a Selamat Hari Raya, and to our Chinese readers, a Precursory Gong Xi Fa Cai. As your highly-sophisticated and cultivated editors have only one sole unified aim in life – aside from seeking the source of eternal coolness (we’re very close) – that is to meet the pleas of the general public in matters; we can now present to you the final part of our Toiletry Facilities Review 2007.

#7 New Building 5^th Floor PC

Drinks fountain for the dehydrated.

Description: four floors above the level of the basement of the fantastic addition to the infrastructure of the area. In an attractive location with, we are quite sure what must be a spectacular view; to entertain this toilet, proceed along a dark and dusty well-lit corridor, and utilise the entry mechanism to swing the door, to then experience this toilet facility. Quick and handy (right-handed, as left will offend certain races) tip: when approaching from the lift area staircases - we condone the utilisation of lifts by students of year 11 and below - advance straight for a 63% more early and enjoyable release.

There is no need for further photos, as this cleverly encapsulates the whole vicinity.

We do not know how this got here as it contradicts our above statement.

Quality: Fine, fine-dining, fine-wining; whatsoever fine you wish to use; we remark that this facility is particularly well fine. Here’s just a rundown of what you might be expecting to meet: fully-packed toilet-roll dispensers, well-functioning taps, frictionless ceramic sinks, ergonomic urinals, abundantly reflective mirrors, possibly military grade secure locks for cubicles; just a smattering of what you’ll be experiencing.
Rating: 4/5

#8 New Building Ground Floor PC

Artwork was placed in anticipation of our arrivals

Description: round the back of the new block, chances are you’ll be greeted by joyous cheers from merry scholars from the nursery, who create abundances of happiness and merriment from the hall opposite this PC. As a result of the vast array of artwork on display, your mind is instantly soothed and relaxed when approaching, and put into a state of gentle sub-consciousness. (Careful, you may even perhaps lose complete consciousness. Collapse onto the marble floor rupturing all ligaments, splitting your skull in six predefined places, and blood losses rapidly!) Which wouldn’t be well good. Therefore. It is advised to travel to this toiletry facility with a fellow member of the community.

Well-defined shadows given off by the reflection device

If you look closely, there’s a hole in the wall on the right. And we don’t know what it’s there for.

Quality: Just a little small. Like an attractive small canine. I’ve run out of things to put down. I swear we heard soft background music whilst inside.
Rating: 5/5 debate this

And that’s it really. Probably a 100% in English Language comprehension for this, as we reckon we comprehend English pretty well. In fact, perfectly. So if any avid readers of this dissertation fancy some help with their English Homework, let us know of it and your essay titles, and we’ll try our best to provide the perfect naturally support.

Well, thus concludes our insightful and sensual insight into the PC’s of our institution. We believe they have been examined to the utmost and given every attention to detail they require, hoping to the fullest that you have enjoyed the review and are now 150% more knowledgeable and capable on the various strings of quality shared by the available facilities. Stay tuned for more glorious and splendid projects,

(Our next project is to simultaneously flush all the toilets in the campus at exactly the same time, to record the sound produced, and replace a potential willing participant's voicebox with that same sound, only, slightly remanifested, so to mimic the call of a small train passing over a gravelled surface shaped similar to that of the tracks used in train transportations industries, of which there are many, and a lute may be included as well, whatever the latitudinal location of fire and brimestone and little red men that may be of inclusiveness occurance.)

On that note we would like to say thank you and goodbye.

Public Conveniences Review 2007 (II of II)

A good toilet may be defined as a clean, complete, and properly used public convenience. It not only requires the hard work and dedication in the issue of public health awareness, leading to a benefit of the welfare of future would-be users of the PC. Here is the second part of our review on the Public Conveniences of our wonderful campus.

#5 Male toilet outside sports hall.

Very conspicuous position.

Description: This PC was relatively average in conditions and performance. This is due to several reasons. Firstly, we cannot further emphasise the extremely conspicuous location of the PC, which leads to a belaying sense of insecurity when patronising this PC. Notice the double areas of entry into the PC; from the primary canteen by the staircase and from where Mr. Bradley is posted, leading from the main hall.

A well kept, neat, tidy, squeaky clean PC. Notice the cleaning utensils.

Quality: Upon entering, the patron is duly rewarded for trusting this particular PC by the vision of a smooth, white, toilet seat, plentiful supplies of toilet paper, and no filth whatsoever on the walls and the floor. One may think that this PC has seen the very least of occupants, not to say the very least a lone educator or a primary school student who has urgent pressing business. On to the next figure.

Conveniently placed soap and *gasp* no cockroaches!

There is not much more that we can possibly add to this clean, relatively small, wonderfully decorated PC (observe the colouring of the tiles.). Other than its relatively dangerous position which is prone to entrance from both sides of the corridor, we give this PC a tentative thumbs-up.

#6. The Changing Rooms PC.

Behold, the ONLY changing room in this block

There are plenty of negative comments which are to follow about this particular PC cum Changing Room, and the state of the door is the very least of it. Description: Located opposite the DT labs and in the middle of the corridor adjoining the two canteens, this particular PC disgusts us to some extent.

No, it's not just the rust that we're ticked off with.

No joke, there is nothing visible on the knob of the door except apparently shiny, silver metal. However, it is the invisibles that we are concerned about. This editor walked into this PC one fine Wednesday, and in the process of washing his hands, heard a lone Year Five step up onto the large metal urinal beside the sinks, and begin doing his business. The editor continued to soap up his hands and eliminate them of all blemishes when suddenly, the Year Five (A Blonde Haired Bloke with Grey Knee Length Shorts) pulled up his shorts, and rushed out of the toilet, without making any inherent attempt to rid his claws of all microbes and filth. The editor stood his ground for five seconds, before deciding to exit through the changing rooms, where a horde of unruly, smelly Year Eights were shedding their skins and replacing them with varying colours of red, yellow, purple and green.

If this PC is treated in this particular manner, how can patrons of this PC piss in peace, knowing that more than one unwashed hand has descended on that metal object above? For other forms of information on how to safely extricate yourself from this quagmire, feel free to browse Weng Yew's column cumblog.

Tissue paper and mirrored thumbs down.

Quality: As you can see, a wad of tissue paper, presumably used for you-know-what, has been discovered beneath the inconveniently placed soap dispenser. If the reader observes the photo with more scrutiny, he/she may find a strangely shaped object hanging from the light in the background.

No, it's not a trick of the light.

A stream of tissue paper, presumably damp (unascertained, due to concerns to personal health and safety) hangs from the fluorescent, metal light, causing inconvenience to occupants by the sound of its dripping and the risk of being splattered by the malicious drops. A pack of brown powder whose contents were not acquired and analysed rests on the top of the cubicles.

Surprisingly Clean.

If there was such a thing as a "redeemer", the changing rooms would more than suit the mould. Contrary to the PC, the changing room receives a moderate thumbs (Neither up nor down.). We feel that this rating is necessary, as we have not included it amongst other ratings, therefore its inclusion is rather justified, rather.

It's not what you think it is.

In Conclusion, this particular PC is an exampled specimen to all the loyal students of this educational institution. The picture above shows the transference of outside elements, e.g. mud into the complex, and this is the result of an over-excitable younger year. Drastic improvements in the form that students of the educational community have to be made in order for this PC to become inhabitable again by the BOTH the needy and the luxurious.
Rating: 1/5 (The Changing Rooms boosted its reputation, but maybe we're just being too kind.)

And THAT, ladies and mostly gentlemen, almost concludes our report of the habitable and uninhabitable Public Conveniences in our wonderful institution. New building toilets may appear soon as well. Be prepared for our next projects, which are numerous and just as entirely unnecessary as this escapade.

We hope you have enjoyed our meagre presentation of PCs in our institution and found some assistance in doing the complicated business of Bowel Movement. Cheers.

Public Conveniences Review 2007 (I of II)

Be upstanding for, presenting, conveniently, our official review and guide to the public conveniences (PCs) of our school. Firstly, a PC, also known by Americans as a bathroom, or by the French as la toilette, is helpfully defined by Wikipedia as:

A toilet is a plumbing fixture and a disposal system primarily intended for the disposal of the bodily wastes; urine, fecal matter, vomit and menses. Toilets additionally accept a paper product known as toilet paper. Other objects may cause blockages in the plumbing.

Yi Xuan Woo has also helpfully defined a toilet as:

GG XD toilet is just toilet man tandas GG

Conveniently utilising our well honed skills in photography, walking, entering, leaving, and our precise knowledge of the school's layout plans, and of vertical posture, we set about in developing a dissertation. Each toilet has undergone careful scrutiny and has been run over by a metaphysical fine toothcomb. We hope to cumulate in the most satisfying toiletry experience for our readers when frequenting GIS.

#1 Sixth Form

Symmetrical cubicle designing

Adequate statuatory space

All-round success in a positive manner

Description: located on the lowermost floor of the secondary school, directly opposite the sixth form common room, the SFPC is probably the more frequently used on PCs by the sixth form, and by the occasional handyman technician and random bus driver. However, it is rarely used by other members of the school.
Quality: usually decent overall, although water does appear in certain areas of the floor due to pipe blockages. A noticeable lack of sinks is glaringly evident, contributing to excessive colonies of bacteria on the entrance door handle, such that the door handle looks soiled and rusted in appearance. Defamatory students trying to enter locked cubicles while failing miserably have corroded most of the door locks with coins.
Rating: 4/5

#2 L Floor

Dangerous obstacles block path and route

Helpfully placed wash facilites

Unpleasant stained community standing urinal

Outcome was not good

Description: found on the science floor of the secondary school, adjacent to the science teacher's workroom; the LPC is one of the more heavily used toilets in the secondary school, due to the irrational sociological reasoning of many a student that going down from the G floor to urinate is easier and faster than going up the F Floor PC.
Quality: on the academic side of things, probably the more unpleasant of toilets. Used as a hangout base for rebellious students just after short break. The LPC has a high, swift turnover rate with it being extremely busy at short breaks, and as such, one often feels rushed when entering the vicinity, which is not too pleasant.
Rating: 1.5/5

#3 G Floor

Encountering initial difficulty in entering possibly well-guarded entrance

Hands will now be breathtakingly 150% cleaner

Glorious

Glorious

Description: staff toilet. Used by staff.
Quality: the best toilet in the secondary school by a metre rule of physics teacher. It posses porcelain urinals, and a spiffingly sweet scent fills the air upon enterance. In contrast to the L floor toilets, the floors are crystal clean, and actually reflect small objects: such as coins and pencil lead. The utter brilliance of this toilet cannot be expressed enough of. If we had one wish in life, it would be that our toilets would be as nice as this; an obvious guarantee.
Rating: 4.5/5

#4 S Floor

Somewhat cleverly hidden door

All the required utensils were present

Massively unusual abstract design

A worthy thumbs up in the end

Description: top floor of the secondary school, frequented by a couple of teachers, ICT technicians, and the odd student. One of the indie toilets due to its distancing from the rest of the public conveniences.
Quality: honestly, pretty decent. Its remote location means that one's ears are mostly filled with silence, and therefore, strong, silent types are encouraged. No urinals here. The exterior of the toilet is usually exposed to the full force of the sun, this has the effect upon entering this toilet, of partially blinding you, as the inside lacks sufficient ambiance light.
Rating: 3.5/5

...Part 2 to follow